I Feel So Alive

It is so hard to find peace in the middle of chaos. Nowadays we are so consumed with Dunya: our careers, friends, families, moments and memories take over the majority of our lives. When Dunya takes over our hearts, minds and souls- there is no or very little space for God. That is why so many people consider religion and God as non-existing or very small part of their lives, saying: This is my job, this is my family, this is my friends, and this is my religion. Religion should not be only the part of one’s life. It should be the whole life- the ultimate purpose of our existence. I learnt it by falling into Dunya over and over again, until one day- I left it behind. 

I don’t know if it is necessary to run away from your life in order to find a new one. Don’t know if you need to completely let go of who you think you are in order to find out who you are meant to be. All I know is that I chose to take this path. One day I just closed my eyes, took a deep breath and jumped off the cliff of my life in the ocean of mystery. All on my own, in the dark, hoping that when I open my eyes again – it will all make sense. Living only on Hope and Faith I did what I was most afraid of- I started my life all over from scratch. And you know what- when I opened my eyes I found myself in this crystal clear water with beautiful corals and pearls at the bottom. No Storm,- Just Peace.   

Don’t get me wrong- life is not perfect on this side of the screen. There are still some days when I go to sleep thinking: What a hell am I doing with my life,- but at least I know that I’m doing Something, I’m moving forward, I’m giving it a try. I choose to look through the imperfections and call them the blessings and lessons of Allah (stw). 

It’s so refreshing to find yourself somewhere half a globe away from home, in the big strange city, to hear cars and people speaking in a foreign language somewhere far away, while I sit on the rooftop watching sun drown into the mountains, feeling the breeze in the heat of Mumbai and thinking to myself:

Today I have no worries. Nothing to stress about. No place I need to be. No errands I need to run. Plan of the day is –Just to let myself BE. When you choose to go through the harshest Storm just to be closer to Allah- he will definitely guide you to Peace. 

Subhanallah! I Feel  Alive.